I think I want to separate from my spouse, where do I start?

I think I want to separate from my spouse, where do I start?

It feels overwhelming but you don’t know what else to do. You’ve tried to talk with your spouse. You’ve tried to ignore the issues and push through. You’ve tried to make it work. Despite this, you know you can’t do this anymore and you are tired.

The good news is that you have options. You can change your life. Separating from your spouse is the first big step in making the changes you need to be happy down the road. It takes courage. Sometimes people in your life are not supportive of your decision, even when you know it is the best thing for you. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, but there are things you must do to get there.

• Before you tell your spouse that you want to separate, you should meet with a family law attorney to make a plan.
• Depending on the facts of your case, you may need to prepare and make some life changes before beginning your separation. This could include updating your resume, pricing out housing options or investigating childcare possibilities.
• Collect documents and information about the assets and debts. Sometimes these documents are difficult to find, missing, or in your spouse’s possession. It may be challenging to get the documents during a tense divorce, so it’s helpful to have them before the separation begins so identify what you’re missing.  

If your spouse managed the finances during your marriage, you need to gain an understanding of what your financial position will look like post-divorce.

An experienced family law attorney can help you understand your overall financial picture – including what assets are likely to be considered marital property, and divided during the divorce, and what is likely to be considered separate property, and not divided in the divorce. A divorce attorney can help you understand whether there may be spousal support or child support in your particular circumstances. Meeting with a family law attorney to start planning your financial future as early in the process as possible is the smart move.   

Divorcing isn’t easy, but it is doable, and we are here to help at each stage of the process.

Chandra Sheppard

Partner | Family Law | Appeals

Chandra Sheppard brings deep experience in all aspects of family law, including high-conflict custody, complex asset division, and LGBTQ+ family matters. She also leads the firm’s appellate practice, providing strategic counsel on trial errors and post-judgment litigation.